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Remembering Who You Are

New Years Eve I went to a guided meditation. As we stood in line to literally burn away our past, we were chanting, “I am remembering who I am.” Nothing could have been more perfect for me this year.

In September I signed on to be in two major holiday craft fairs. One of the profound gifts of having “craft fair deadlines” was that I had to increase my work hours, let go of the reins on my older children (i.e. stop hovering), and place my attention back on myself by painting daily for longer stretches at a time. I also had to vulnerable expose myself, by putting myself out across the board (social media, personal contacts, and such). Even though I was nervous, and felt pressured about the upcoming events, each day I felt lighter and free. The time crunch did not allow me to worry or to get into thinking that what I was doing wasn’t good enough. I just had time to charge forward. When the worry would start I would pull out my favorite creative recovery tool. I stand in the doorway of my studio before I begin and bow like you would in any martial arts studio, then I formally announce that I am turning the results over to my muses. They are in charge of the work, I am in charge of my feet ( as in it is my job to walk myself into the studio and start painting).


I’m going to date myself here, but as a kid I watched these school house rock videos. In one video the vegetables were getting a bath, washing away the fat from sauces like mayonnaise. The shiny egg or celery would smile as they were returned to their true selves. So I’m feeling a little like that hard boiled egg; cleaner, lighter with a sense of yes that’s right, that’s true, that’s me.


I believe making art brings us back to our true selves. Image making is our first complex language. It is literally what separates man from beast (although Coco the Gorilla did love to draw). So when we get out our pens and pencils and play on paper, magic happens! It connects us to our innocence in the most somatic way. But here is the caveat, not if we start criticizing our results. Not if we judge the product. The gift is to get to be creative. Remember when you were four years old you gave your pictures with love, and they were received with love. The gift is to go back to that. And even more, to receive others’ gifts with love as well. Making art is one of the greatest tools we own. My wish for you in 2022 is that you draw more, that you innocently pick up some markers or crayons, and make doodles in various shapes and sizes. That you layer colors and witness the results, and that you learn to see the world with curious inspired eyes. Happy coloring.



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